Sleepless in Hertfordshire
“Don’t worry you won’t have 2 the same” – They said
“Your 2nd will be so much easier” – They said
“You can’t possibly have 2 babies that don’t sleep” – They said
What can I say? “THEY” were wrong……
I had 2 babies – 18 months apart and my 2nd, Lacey, apparently also didn’t get the memo that Mummy & Daddy needed sleep!
When Summer was born she just didn’t want to sleep at all… not in the day and not at night and at 17 months old and heavily pregnant with Lacey, I had reached the end of my tether. Hormonal, exhausted and very short tempered (you can imagine how happy our house was) we agreed to get a sleep therapist in to try and sort the awful situation which was occurring, up every hour on the hour, and so after a lot of hard work and commitment and a few shouting matches between mark and I, just as Lacey was born we were finally getting a good night sleep…..
Lacey was a good baby, and she started sleeping through at 3 months…..WOW I thought I had hit the jackpot and that maybe just maybe, I would be that smug mum that bragged with to mums “my baby is sleeping through at 3 months”…. But no…I had seriously p****d someone off in a previous life because that blissful period of sleep lasted the whole of 3 bloody weeks!!
And now, 6 years later with Lacey, I would love to tell you that she is back sleeping through the night again and it was “just a phase” but I would be lying… She is 6 next week and she is currently sleeping on a duvet on the floor, next to our bed. Which for some of you reading this you will think “What the hell, that is ridiculous” but in fact it is a big bonus for us because a week ago she was sleeping in our bed, more or less on top of Mark, every night, because in her words “I just miss you both so much at night”
Sleep deprivation has been a killer, we have lived on coffee for 6 years – (kept our local Nero in business) spent obscene amounts of money on different sleep products that claim to have your child sleeping in seconds and actually all they do is make you sleepy instead and have had so many arguments over what we should or shouldn’t be doing that I’m not even sure what the hell I am doing anymore. And so sleep in our house is now so overrated and midnight parties are all the rage!
Friends ask me how we possibly manage to function every day – and the truth is you just do! It has become a way of life for us!
Mark is a firm believer that this behaviour won’t last forever and she is still so little….I keep reminding him of this and pray that she doesn’t want to have her mummy & daddy (or definitely her daddy) in her bed on her wedding night 🙂
I am much tougher and whilst she is my baby, I believe she needs to learn how to sleep on her own, in her own room..
So, being the happy house and team that we are…. we have compromised, we have spoken to a fantastic therapist…again…who is helping us deal with Lacey’s sleep and insecurities that are contributing to the sleep problem, and a week in, she may be sleeping on the floor next to us, but she is not in our bed and she is not screaming the house down in protest at 3am and very gradually we hope to see her move back to her room and feel comfortable and settled.